A Long Overdue Apology

For a rather long time now, I’ve been thinking about the night I graduated high school.  Why?  Because of all nights to take a stand against something that I saw as wrong and do the right thing, I stood down, fearing that the diploma I worked for would be revoked.  I had my speech written and ready to go, and instead of giving my speech I grabbed the empty folder and walked off stage, the last student to graduate from the class.

To Brian and Craig, I’m truly sorry for two things.  The first, not standing up for you both when we were all in that classroom and basically held hostage.  I’m not saying you all did the right thing, but basing your punishment on a lie and on revenge for being embarrassed (on the part of the teacher and even in a greater sense the school) was wrong.  Given the other members of the class, myself included, a great number of us should have been expelled for breaking those infamous rules, rather than just you two.  The second, for not giving that speech that night.  I’ve kept the text of that speech in my mind ever since that night.  The original draft has long since been creased beyond belief.

Not that it changes things, but if you want to read it here is my speech from that night.

To the Administration, Honored Guests, and the rest of the Graduating Class:

As the last student of the graduating class, I won’t be giving the traditional feel good speech that so many have given already.

To my parents I can only say thank you.  You raised me in an environment that allowed me to think for myself, form my own opinions and make my own mistakes. You also showed me what true Christianity is all about while you stood by me and helped me recover from my mistakes never turning your back on me.  And once again, I am asking you to bear with me through this speech.  You once told me to take a stand for those things that are fundamentally important and I am doing so now.

To the rest of the parents here I also have something to say.  Christian education begins and ends in the home.  It starts with you and is your responsibility, one that cannot be handed off to any school, Christian or otherwise.  Religious education and indoctrination begins and ends with Christian schools.  I make this distinction because true Christianity has no room for legalism, whereas religion not only has the room for legalism, it must have legalism to survive.  Legalism leads to hypocrisy and selectiveness on the part of those who enforce this arbitrary legalism

To the faculty: I want to say thank you for the education that was provided.  To those teachers who taught us to think for ourselves, look and evaluate different points of view, and assess situations for ourselves, I can’t say thank you enough.  To the rest of the faculty, I can only say please follow the examples of those other teachers who embrace those concepts listed above.  There is a difference between Christianity and religion and too often the line has a tendency to be blurred in Christian education.

The previous statements were an introduction and basis for what I really want to say tonight.  If the administration here sees to cut the microphone off I will go public with this story.  I do not have within my power to right a wrong that  has been committed within these walls, but I do have it within my reach to bring the matter to light, rather than hide it as the administration of the school and the pastoral staff of this church has sought to hide it.  By doing so, I hope that parents of future classes will take a more active involvement not only with their students but with the running of this school.  Currently there is no active PTA within these walls, and there needs to be.

You witnessed tonight, the graduating class march across this stage, giving congratulatory speeches.  However, two students, Brian and Craig, were recently expelled by the administration.  They had completed the requirements, but because of an infraction during our recent senior trip, they were expelled.  I am not condoning their actions, what they did went against the code of conduct and statement of faith that students are required to sign before attending here. What is a problem is the basis, the method, and the selective enforcement that the administration chose to use.

Nothing was brought up during the remainder of our senior trip after the infraction incurred.  However, when we got back, the infraction was brought to the attention of Pastor Brian Wahlberg, by a member of the graduating class.  This student lied about how they knew about the infraction.  This also goes against code of conduct.  This student graduated tonight.  Based on this purgory, Pastor Wahlberg held the senior class hostage, and I do mean hostage, during our lunch hour.  He threatened to expel any student who knew something and didn’t come forward and to expel those who actually committed the infraction.  Pastor Wahlberg stated that his motivation was based on embarrassment because he had publicly stated the senior trip was a success and now this infraction came to light.  There are several reasons why the inquiry of this infraction at this point was wrong.

  1. The start of the inquiry was based on a false statement.  The reporter of the infraction lied about how they knew about the infraction, and there was no other evidence.
  2. The inquiry was motivated, not by Christian love and correction, but by the personal embarrassment of Pastor Wahlberg, and the administration and pastoral leadership as a whole.
  3. Threatening expulsion  of those who knew but had no proof and didn’t seek to back a false statement is actively seeking someone who will lie and go against the very code of conduct they are seeking to enforce because of their embarrassment.
  4. Holding anyone hostage is wrong, and we were told that if we left that classroom before someone came forward we would be dealt with and expelled.  Tell that to a student who has worked 13 years that everything they worked for is going to go down the toilet and you may as well have thrown us into a prison cell.

After Brian and Craig finally came forward, they were dealt with unfairly.  I am not condoning what Brian and Craig did.  It deserved punishment, however the expulsion was wrong.  Rather than to help these students with a problem, the administration sought to act out of embarrassment and revenge and to try and get rid of and hide the problem not only from the rest of the student body, many of who already knew, but also the rest of the parents.

Why was the expulsion wrong? 

  1. It was based on a lie by another student.  The student had no proof. 
  2. The expulsion was based on embarrassment rather than Christian charity and corrective action. 
  3. If this expulsion was justified even when Brian and Craig told the truth, our numbers on this stage should have been down by one more because the student who lied about his knowledge ought to have been expelled. 
  4. Then there is the matter of selective enforcement.  As students we must sign a statement of faith and code of conduct.  Any infraction of this signed statement is a matter of expulsion.  As early as last year, this administration graduated a known atheist.  And yes they knew about it.   Dealing with this class and myself, if this school acted on every infraction of the code of conduct by this class, that the administration knew about, many of the students, myself included, in this class would not have graduated tonight.

Why do I bring this matter to light?  The potential for further damage to the school is a real possibility.  But the potential for positive change out weights the negative consequences.

The code of conduct that we as students are forced to sign in order to attend this school is wrong.  It makes a mockery out of the parents who send their students here.  The code of conduct, being enforceable 24 hrs a day/7days a week/365 days a year, actively takes away parental responsibility to set their own rules in their own homes.  While this code of conduct regulates against what most would consider improper behavior, it is the duty of parents to instill these values and deal with infractions while in their own home and elsewhere when the student is not on school property or officially representing the school.

The teenage years are a time for kids to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.  It is a time for not only parental guidance, but also guidance from school and church faculty.  This guidance should be based on Christian love and positive correction when needed.  The code of conduct destroys this concept.  With a church-based Christian school who cross-utilizes faculty, the sanctity of the pastoral office is destroyed.  If a student comes to a youth pastor who teaches in the school, who is he talking to?  Can he trust the youth pastor to help him when he actively seeks help  or will he have to deal with the punishment from the code of conduct because he was talking to a teacher?

What should be occurring is not.  Parents should be actively involved with the school to provide a corrective environment rather than just expelling those who break the rules.  Expulsion, especially with the Christian school environment, should be a last resort.  Time and time again in the Bible, one is faced with Jesus forgiving those who sinned and telling them to sin no more.  There is not an example of where Jesus turned his back on any sinner.  Yet a school that says it is Christian selectively turns its back on students who commit an infraction.

To the parents of future students and graduates and the administration, I ask only that you work together for positive corrective action and punishment.  Students need support not vindicative and selective enforcment of the code of conduct nor do they need betrayal.

Thank you for your time and patience.  I know the administration is ready to throttle me, but this is something that needed to be said.  God-bless and thank you again.

January 21, 2007 | Filed Under Rants 

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